Stressed

Couple days ago, I went to my oncologist to check out a rapid-growing lump I found on my upper left leg. He didn't like the looks of the tumor and wanted to send it in to determine whether or not my cancer had returned. He wanted to see me on Wednesday of that same week since he thought he'd have the lab work back by that time. Trouble was, that I was scheduled to have my deposition with the attorney's from First American Title, the Fortune 300 world-wide company that is suing me. I thought about postponing my deposition, but I realized that if the biopsy came back positive, then, I'd have to deal with cancer treatments AND a deposition and I could just proceed and get it over with. I was really stressed about the whole situation and my first emotion was; "how am I going to handle all this?". Then my attitude progressed to "okay, I just need to understand and accept that Wednesday is just going to suck, but there is only 24 hours in the day and one way or another the day will end". Then, I woke up Tuesday morning with a new outlook; "Why couldn't the day be fantastic? I can plan to knock my deposition out of the park and say everything I needed to say (because after all, I'm NOT guilty of the things they accuse me of) and then go to Dr. Jolles and get wonderful news that the tumor is benign." So that's what I went with. My attorney had done a bit of prep with me to prepare for the deposition and frankly, she and my boss were quite worried about me. I had had a couple of breakdowns in their office and felt really bad about how an innocent little thing like cleaning out my hard drive had resulted in a bunch of legal bills for my new company etc. First American spent a lot of time and money treating me like a number when I worked there and now they are spending a lot of time and money making me feel like I did something wrong. Anyway, the day of the deposition came, I went with my attorney over to the other counsel office and began the video taped question and answer session. At the first break, my attorney and Mike went with me into a conference room that we had used all week to compose ourselves and regroup to prepare for more questions. When we walked in, my attorney made the comment; "it's like she had a brain transplant". I raised my eyebrows and she said; "you're doing fantastic, don't get cocky, but everything I want you to say, you are saying. Good job". So, after 8 grueling hours of the question and answer session, I finished up and got in the car to head to Dr. Jolles' office. When I got there, they put me in a room, the doctor came in and said the results came back and everything is benign. Yay! It ended up being a great day! I'm grateful for the feeling I had and the blessing I received from my husband that helped me remain calm and do what needed to be done. I did notice during a break of the deposition, that I had a fantastic view, so I snapped a pic. Nice to have such a beautiful reminder of what's really important while enduring this most stressful of days.